Whizzing, Walking, & Wheezing...Just Another Wacky Monday

It's SPRING BREAK!!!! I hope y'all had a great Monday! Mine was definitely weird, but enjoyably wacky.

My first memory of the day is being rudely awoken by my lovely wife as she (accidentally?) elbowed me in the mouth this morning as she was rolling over in bed. It hurt. Luckily, my teeth are intact. (And for the record, the only elbow I like near my mouth is elbow macaroni.)

Then I had to go over to Mom and Dad's today to help Mom get the pets to the vet. Pretty Girl was getting her claws trimmed (or "gettin' her nails did," as Mom said this morning), and Boomer was going for a urine analysis. This sparked a conversation about between us about how in the world they get urine out of a dog. Mom kept saying that they must have a way of getting them to pee in a cup or a pan. I said that they probably had some sort of bag that they strapped on and just waited for Mother Nature to call.

After a noisy drive to the vet (Pretty Girl kept making a pitiful crying sound, and Boomer made his usual squeaking sound that he makes when he knows he's going to the vet), they told us that if we had a couple of minutes, they could do everything and we could take them home without having to pick them up later. Mom told the ladies at the front desk about our debate of how they get the pee. Turns out we were both wrong. There are no cups, pans, or bags involved. They do an ultrasound, find the bladder, and then insert a needle to extract the amount they need.

One of Boomer's crazy faces.

They asked us if we wanted to watch, and, out of curiosity, we said, "Sure!" Poor Boomer, who recently turned 8, was weighed, and then they flipped him over on the table while Dr. Thornburg prepped for the ultrasound. We watched on the screen as Doc started the ultrasound. "See that black circle?" Mary asked us. "That's the urine." While Mary was explaining this to us, Doc inserted the needle. It was only then that I noticed that Boomer was looking over at me. I wish I'd taken a picture of the expression on his face. It could only be interpreted as "WTF?" After showing us the syringe of whiz, Doc checked Boom's ears. He said his ears looked good and that the results of the whiz test would be available in a few days. Doc also told us that at 8 years old, Boomer is now considered a "senior dog," a term which Mom did not like. He's still her "baby puppy."

This is how she's spent most of her 14 years.

The Fussy Hussy was up next. They pried Pretty Girl out of her carrier and quickly clipped her nails and checked her ears. We also asked them to look up how old Pretty Girl is, because neither Mom or I could remember. Mom guessed 12; I said 15. Again, we were both wrong. Pretty Girl is 14, and they told us that she's in great shape to be so old. They didn't say anything about her being a "senior cat." (Maybe it's because it's impolite to talk about a lady's age.) I imagine that they would classify her as an "ancient cat."

When we got home, Mom asked if I wanted to go for a walk in the backyard, which she calls "the lower forty." It's more like "the back 2" acres. We walked the perimeter and zig-zagged back and forth several times. Mom's been walking the lower forty for a few weeks, and I'll admit, it is a nice walk.

I left Mom's and met Jackie at Snap. Today I wanted to work chest and abs and do cardio. With summer just a few short months away, I know that I have a long way to go before I have my beach body ready. Because I have seen how Jackie reacts to Ryan Reynolds (especially when he takes his shirt off), I use him as my motivation. While I will probably never have a six-pack like his, I will strive to get as close as I can!!

The body I want.

Me wearing a 6-pack apron. Hopefully, a preview of abs yet to come!

It may not be fatal to your body, but it could be to someone else.

When we arrived, there were some folks there trying the gym's 1-week trial. Now, I normally wouldn't criticize anyone who works out, but there was this one woman that really ticked me off. She and her friend had tried several machines and then got on the ellipticals. After about 3 minutes, the wheezing woman stepped off the elliptical and walked outside. I thought she was leaving, and then I noticed a huge plume of smoke a few seconds later. She was taking a smoke break! I wanted to go smack the cancer stick out of her hand! Why the heck would you try to improve your cardiovascular health and then go light up?!?!? What also ticked me off was that she was puffing away right in front of the door, so anyone who was coming or going would have to walk through her cancer cloud. I know that smokers say they have a right to smoke, but I am a firm believer that my right to breath clean air trumps their right to give themselves cancer. I've seen firsthand the ravages that smoking causes on a person. I watched my grandfather die of emphysema. I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy, and I certainly don't want it to happen to me. Don't make me breath your secondhand smoke!! [stepping off my soapbox]

When it was time for me to get on Satan's spinning device the elliptical, I decided that I wanted to try a new program: the hill. It kicked my butt! To pass the time on the torture device, I've been watching movies. The other day, I finished watching Star Trek (the 2009 one). I had the pilot episode of USA's Fairly Legal (it was free on iTunes a couple of months ago, and the show has been recording in my DVR, waiting for a day when I can watch them all) on my phone, so I decided to start watching it during yesterday's cardio time. I finished it today, and let me just say that it is a great show! I love the characters and the writing. It is just another great addition to the USA lineup. (My over USA favs include Royal Pains and Covert Affairs. Check them both out this summer!)

My machine

The seated elliptical

After finishing the episode, I still had about 15 minutes left, so I jammed out to my workout mix. It gave me the boost I needed to wrap up my workout (Thanks, P!nk, Travie McCoy, and Cee Lo!). Jackie alternated between the standing elliptical, the seated elliptical (which also looks like some sort of torture device), and the treadmill. Both of us are gearing up for the Rumpshaker 5K!




After coming home and taking a shower, Jackie challenged me to a game of Phase 10. After pretty much dominating most of the game, Jackie had a miraculous comeback. I came this close [holding index finger and thumb close together] to beating her, but she phased out when I was just 1 card short of my set of 5/set of 3.

Sorry this blog is uber long, but I just wanted to share. Hope you enjoyed it!