Satan, Thy Name is Cybex Elliptical

Tonight after eating with the in-laws at Outback and buying some furniture, Jackie wanted to stop by her office to work for a bit. She said that I should try the Snap location near her office. I thought it would be a great idea...especially to work off some of my delicious steak tonight. Little did I know that I would be in for one excruciating elliptical experience.

Some mean machines

I should have known that the shiny, metallic, fire-engine red elliptical would be trouble. It looked tough and mean. But I'd never used a Cybex machine before, so I really didn't know what to expect. Now I do.

Once I stepped onto the elliptical, I realized that being on this thing was like being hugged by the Devil's bright red arms. It was very claustrophobic feeling. I immediately missed my friendly, open elliptical at my Snap in Columbiana.

Then I started moving and quickly realized that the elliptical has a very different movement than what I'm used to. Instead of simulating running/jogging, it felt like my legs were doing some sort of high-stepping, swinging motion. (This also made my jogging shorts ride up, and I'll be the first to admit that I was showing way too much leg... at least it was too much for my comfort level. Luckily there weren't many people there.)

My legs were burning in no time, but it was hard to get into a rhythm that felt comfortable. I couldn't enjoy the workout because the machine felt so darn weird, but I was determined to get through it. I was not going to let this elliptical beat me.

I couldn't help but appreciate the irony when my iPod randomly selected Rihanna's "SOS" song. I thought, "Yes, please, someone come and rescue me!"

In addition to my legs feeling...well, weird... the handles also made my hands hurt. I kept trying to find a grip that wouldn't hurt, but my hands kept feeling like they wanted to cramp.

Ultimately, I decided that the Cybex ellipticals are some mean machines. Maybe they're meant for some super-fit folks...and I'll admit that I'm just not ready for that. While I know it was good to do something different, that elliptical was just not for me. I didn't like the way it moved. While it was nice to try something new (and I know it was good for my body to be challenged in a different way), I'll stick with my nice, more user-friendly elliptical in Columbiana.

UPDATE: 

I totally forgot about this picture I took while I was changing in the bathroom at Snap last night. It cracked me up. Cheeky, Snap Fitness marketing department, cheeky.