We've got just over a week left in our 8-week weight loss challenge, and things have been slowly progressing. Check out this before-and-after picture of my first weigh-in and last Monday's weigh-in.
Don't get me wrong. I know it is a huge accomplishment, and I'm really proud of myself.
But there are still days where I just feel like a big old blob of fat jiggling away while I'm on the elliptical. And to make matters worse, it seems like lately I've been timing my gym visits with all of the super-fit, chiseled, Greek god-like guys. Nothing makes you feel even fatter than being the fattest person at the gym.
It's depressing.
I see them in the mirrors lifting weights behind me, and I'm all like, "Don't mind me. I'm just huffing and puffing away over here, sweating like I'm sunbathing on the surface of the Sun. Nothing to see..."
I came across this meme on Pinterest the other day, and it totally sums up my feelings about this whole subject.
I know how you feel, Jim Gaffigan...
I know it's stupid to feel like this. Their years of hard work in the gym are precisely why they look the way they do. And I hope that one day my time in the gym will make me look good, too.
But it still irks me when I realize I'm the fattest person at the gym... and that motivates me even more to do something to change that.
If I can lose about six or seven more pounds, I'll be back to the weight I was when Jackie and I got married three years ago.
My ultimate goal is to get down to 200-215 pounds. 215 will get me out of the obese category on the BMI chart. I've told myself that I can do it by the end of the year, which should be a realistic goal.
Yep, I am clearly too short...
Thanks again to all of you who have supported and encouraged me on this journey. Your support keeps me going!
[Tangent beginning in 3...2...1...]
For those of you who are wondering how my dissertation is coming along, here's a little update for you: it's going slowly. I got feedback yesterday on the largest chapter I've written. I knew it would need some work, but my chair wants some major reorganization.
At first I freaked out and got really discouraged. Then I took a deep breath, and got to work on revisions based off of his suggestions.
And what do you know? The chapter is improving and will be much better! I feel really good about it! My chair's honest feedback was right on the money, and I'm thankful for it!
And, by the way, I've gotten hooked on Doctor Who this summer, which makes this picture all the more appropriate when thinking about my dissertation.
Finally, I have been able to enjoy some time to clear my mind from my dissertation and teaching work. I finally got to take Jackie to see Star Trek Into Darkness. She really liked it! My plan to convert her into a nerd worked! I love that she likes Star Trek and lets me indulge in my nerdiness. We also saw Despicable Me 2. Now I can't get this minion's sound out of my mind, and now all sirens should sound like this.
So that's about it. The summer class I'm teaching is going well, and we're also getting ready for my brother's wedding, which is a week from today! Needless to say, I'm as busy as ever--and thankfully, I'm lugging around a lot less weight while we're doing all of this stuff!
Hi there, readers! Thanks for sticking around through the Great Blog Drought of 2013.
So as many of you may have heard, the AMA has classified obesity as a disease. While I'm not sure I completely agree with that, I do realize that there is certainly a genetic factor at play. (The Finkleas aren't known for being a skinny bunch...) I don't want to make an excuse for my weight by saying it is a disease...and, yes, I am obese. That's a hard word to write...to acknowledge...to accept. But just because I do not like the word does not make it any less true.
I. Am. Obese.
Is my weight the result of a disease? Yes, now please pass the Oreos. No. I am obese because of choices I made.
Should I have a 3rd helping of mac and cheese? Does a bear poop in the woods? Do you want another piece of pie? You betcha! Salad? Nah, I'm saving extra room for dessert! I ate so much that I think I'm gonna pop! Oh, did you say you've got banana pudding? Why, yes, I've got room.
I think you're beginning to see my thought process. I have a love affair with food. I'm an emotional eater. I'm a hungry eater. I'm a I-don't-have-anything-else-to-do eater. I eat if I crave something crunchy. I eat if I crave something sweet. I love to eat.
And I packed on every fatty, jiggling, disgusting pound by eating some of the most delicious, decadent foods on the planet. I believe it was Kate Moss who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." I really want to slap her across her sunken cheek and ask, "Have you ever had my mom's mac and cheese? I think you'd change your mind."
At my skinniest: 180 lbs. in 2004 or 2005
So here I sit, writing this blog to you, spilling my guts about my...well, gut. As many of you know, I was the fat kid in school. Then when I started college, I finally realized that I needed to make a change. During my freshman year at the University of Montevallo, I dropped 55 pounds while my classmates put on the "Freshman 15." It was the best I've ever felt in my whole entire life. I loved my body.
Unfortunately, my losses didn't last forever. I slowly put back on every single one of those 55 pounds...and a few extra. Then I got married and put on another 30.
I was in my mid-20s. I loved my life. I loved my wife. But I hated myself. I didn't recognize the fatty in the mirror. My shirt size went from being able to wear some mediums, to larges, to extra larges, to 2XL. My waist size jumped more than 10 inches. I trapped myself inside my own body...and I felt like I would never escape.
I prayed that God would miraculously make me skinny. (As Christians, we are supposed to treat our body like a temple of God. I apparently built a temple for Buddha...but at least no body tried to rub my belly.) I'd diet really good for a week...only to reward my efforts by pigging out. I'd think about going back to the gym. (Turns out it isn't"the thought that counts.") I was still fat...and getting fatter.
We tried Weight Watchers. We tried the 6 Week Body Makeover. We tried "Let's just control our portions." We tried Zumba. Nothing worked... at least, not for long.
And then about 5 weeks ago, we were talking with Jackie's cousin Beth (check out her ah-mazing blog, Unskinny Boppy!) and Uncle Jon about starting an 8-week weight loss challenge. (We chose 8 weeks because there were 8 weeks until my brother's wedding.) To motivate ourselves, we said, "Let's all chip in and give the winner a cash prize!" We added more family members and friends, and the winner's pot grew to quite a chunk of change.
Turns out that the motivation that I'd been lacking all these years was a big ol' stack of cash. I started eating better (back on Weight Watchers), lifting weights, and doing cardio like it's going out of style.
After a 50 minute cardio workout. 7.57 miles & 663 calories!!!
And the weight started coming off.
So far, I'm down 18 pounds. I'm back down to an XL shirt, and I've had to tighten my belt a notch. I've also lost 15 inches from all over my body.
Who knew that my competitiveness would jump start my weight loss?
I am on the road to recovery. Each pound that melts away makes me a little more free. I'm rebuilding my temple from the image of Buddha to the image of Christ. (Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" has become my mantra when I want to give up at the gym...which, let's be honest, is often.)
It has not been easy. Muscles have ached that haven't ached in years. There are days I don't think I can get out of bed because my body refuses to move. There are days that I want to simply give up.
But I push through the soreness, roll out of bed, and I refuse to give up!
Workout Before & After. And, yeah, my shirt says "Flossin' ain't just for gangstas"...which is true. Gotta keep that grill lookin' so fresh and so clean-clean.
I've been posting a lot of pictures on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to keep folks updated on my progress. Every like or comment fuels my desire to get this weight off! My friend Ryan tells me and Jackie that we motivate him to run...which, in turn, motivates me to run. It's a good cycle to be in.
Folks that haven't seen me in several weeks have noticed a difference. (But I've also gotten a little sun this summer, so part of the change may be that I look a little more tan and not so much like a pale ghost...)
I like this transforming version of me. He's not only skinnier...he's happier. He will live a richer, more satisfying life. (He'll also live a life where he doesn't get winded walking up a flight of stairs or bending over to tie his shoes...both of which used to be sadly true.)
I can do this. I will get this weight off. I will (hopefully) win our weight loss challenge.
But it's not all about the money.
I want to transform my life...forever.
Yeah, the AMA may say obesity is a disease, but I think it is mostly a choice. It's a choice every time you open the fridge, go through the drive-thru, and sit down at the dinner table. People don't choose to get cancer, or MS, or lupus. Those are diseases. My obesity is not a disease. It is the result of my choices...which, up until a few weeks ago, were delicious sucked.
Thank you to all of my friends and family for your support on this journey. Your words of encouragement mean the world to me, and I couldn't do it without you.
And I have to give a special shout out to my wife. Jackie, you keep me focused and driven, and I am so thankful to have you not only as my wife, but my best friend and partner in life. We are doing this together, and I think that's why we're being successful. I am so proud of your successes, too!
Well, that's it for now. Gotta go to bed so that I can head to the gym in the morning!
The race is on March 30, so we've got some time to get ready. But we haven't started our training yet. The hardest part is finding the motivation to go to the gym. Last time we ran the Rumpshaker, we went to the gym for a month solid before the race to train.
Every other day or so, one of us will look over at the other and say, "When are we going to start training for the marathon?" (We call it a marathon because sometimes thinking about it makes it seem like a marathon. Apologies to all you marathon runners out there...)
The problem with training is that I've had a total lack of motivation to hit the gym. The race is 3 days after my 28th birthday, and I'd really like to be in better shape by then. I mean, I know I can't lose a ton of weight between now and then, but I like to lose something and be stronger. I keep looking at old pictures for motivation to remind me of how skinny I used to be. They remind me of how I've transformed my body before. If I've done it once, I know that I can do it again.
But why can't I get motivated this time??? I feel like if I can figure that out, I'd be unstoppable. In the meantime, I hope our looming race day will begin to get me to drag my butt to the gym in my free time (you know, the few seconds I have between class, prepping for class, dissertation work...).
After yesterday's post, I was motivated to haul my butt to the gym. I was so glad that there were only 2 cars in the parking lot when I pulled up. I hate going when it's busy.
I only did the elliptical today... but it felt so good to be back!!
I also spoke with the guy that works there about why we hadn't received our two free months for referring my parents and a lady from our church. I've been assured that we'll get 2 months for free, which is a $100 savings!!!
While I was on the elliptical, I kept telling myself, "Just keep going...just keep going..." Of course, the voice in my head sounded a lot like Ellen DeGeneres as Dory in Finding Nemo. "Just keep swimming..."
When I was done, I was proud of myself. I didn't feel like I was going to die. In fact, I felt better than I have in a long time. I keep trying to remember how good I felt before I gained all this weight. I also keep looking at my motivation pictures. Oh, to be that skinny again...
I know that I have a long way to go, but I'm determined to succeed! I can do this!!
I know that I started this blog with the intention of keeping track of my weight loss during 2011. Since we're past the halfway point, I have to admit that I haven't lost a pound.*
And after all that, I still weigh exactly the same as I did on the day I created this blog. Granted, we haven't been to the gym in a couple of months. We've been so busy that we haven't had time to focus on ourselves. (I know that sounds like a lame excuse, but it's all I've got.)
Well, Jackie and I are once again getting back on the wagon. We're going all out with Weight Watchers. Jackie has already written the points value on every bit of food in our house. She has even created a food journal for me. We are also going to start going back to the gym.
I have to succeed this time. Failure is not an option. There is still a lot of time left in 2011. I'll try not to waste it.
*To be honest, I did lose a little bit of weight (about 7 pounds), but I quickly gained it back.
Jackie and I had been pretty burned out the past couple of weeks, and we were in desperate need of a getaway. Luckily, Jackie's mom had a coroners' conference at Orange Beach, and she invited us to tag along for the weekend.
This is what I imagined a coroners' conference at the beach to look like.
We packed up and left Friday morning. We made it all the way to the Mickey D's a little over a mile from the apartment and stopped for breakfast. From there, we headed to Prattville for a mandatory Bass Pro/Lane Bryant stop. We finally arrived at the Perdido Beach Resort in the mid-afternoon. After a little switch-a-roo with our rooms, we settled in and were able to start enjoying ourselves. (For the record, we really liked the hotel. The pool was great. The jacuzzi was heavenly. The gym was surprisingly nice. Our room was huge and had a comfy bed. The pizza at the pizzeria/ice cream parlor was delicious! We really had a great time!)
Pulling in to the resort!
We had arrived!
View from our room.
While this weekend was a (much needed) vacation, it was also a working weekend for me. I had to read a book for one of my classes. It was called How Sex Changed, and it was a history of transgendered people in America...not the best book to read while relaxing on the beach, but I'd rather read it at the beach than at home!
This was one strange book!
We enjoyed some great seafood while we were down there. I love shrimp! I got grilled shrimp at The Steamer the first night and a fried shrimp po'boy at The Shrimp Basket, and it was all delicious!!! We also got to go to Lambert's Cafe the last night we were there. It had been years since I'd been there. It was SO yummy, but I made the mistake of eating a whole roll before my food came, so I wasn't able to eat much of it. (However, I did enjoy the leftovers later that night while Shannon, Jackie, and I watched Independence Day.)
Me and my gal.
Ahoy, matey!! Me and Jackie as pirates!
My wing plate at Lambert's
Frozen custard!!!
I also went to the gym while we were there...gotta burn of some of those seafood calories! I was able to use an elliptical that looked out at the beach. It could definitely get used to working out with that view!
View from the elliptical while I was working out.
Jackie and I also hoped to strike it rich while we were there. We drove over to Florida (which was really just across the bridge) to buy scratch-offs and a lotto ticket. We won $15 on the scratch-offs, but we struck out on the lotto. I'm hoping we'll have better luck in Vegas this coming weekend!
Florida is on the other side of the bridge
Our unlucky lotto ticket
Posing with some of our scratch-off winnings!
Diana, Jeff, Jackie, and I also went out on the pier the night after we ate at The Shrimp Basket. It was fun to watch folks reel in their catches, and we also saw a sting ray in the water. We also went crabbing our last night there, but we couldn't find any. I was so bummed.
Before going on the pier
Jackie on the pier
Me on the pier
About to go crabbing!!
All we found was this giant sand turtle
Here are some more random pix from the trip:
Jackie in the "Big Momma" chair
Toes in the water, tush in the sand...
Jackie is rolled up like a burrito to take a nap.
She got cold.
The starfish versions of me and Jackie
Souvenir shopping
Trying on a hair hat
More hair hats
Freaky looking cat statue at Alvin's Island
Dad always told me I looked like the milkman.
I was really not looking forward to coming home Monday because I knew that I had to defend my Master's comps today. I was really nervous about it. The comps are one of the big steps I have to take in the expedited program at Alabama. It was a make-or-break situation.
It involved me sitting at a conference table with three of my professors discussing my answers that I'd written almost 2 months ago. I was so afraid that they would rip me apart, but they were really helpful and nice. They pointed out weak spots in my answers and gave suggestions on how to improve them. I also had to answer some of their questions on the fly. I know I rambled a lot, but I was praying that some part of what I was saying was making sense. When we had gone over all three answers, Dr. Zhou asked me to step out while they deliberated.
I walked out into the hallway and started looking at a bulletin board. Less than a minute later, Dr. Zhou stepped out and told me to come back in. I didn't have a good feeling. I thought that they probably said Nope, Nope, Nope...which of course would take less than a minute to do.
I nervously took my seat, and Dr. Zhou said, "You know, in a court case a short jury deliberation can be a good or bad thing....and for you, this is a good thing. Congratulations!" I was SO relieved! I can never thank Drs. Zhou
Several people have told me that getting your Ph.D. is really about jumping through all the hoops. While that sounds easy enough, they don't tell you that the hoops are all on fire. I'm just glad this one didn't catch me on fire...but I'm definitely feeling the heat from the next hoops.
This is what it feels like jumping through a flaming hoop for grad school.
Tonight I was flying solo at the gym because Jackie was working late. This was my first visit back at the gym since the Rumpshaker. I was super sore for the last two days, and this was the first day that I actually thought I would be able to drag my butt to the gym and actually do something.
I worked out chest, back, and abs before getting on my old friend, the elliptical. It was really hard to get motivated on the elliptical tonight. There was part of me that wanted to be doing cardio outside, but I know that I need to take care of my knee and don't need to over-do it. I powered through the cardio and finally headed home.
Jackie was still at work, and I had a major case of the munchies. I was craving some milk...and then I spotted the bag of pretzel M&Ms. Jackie bought them last week with a coupon. (I cant remember if she paid 2-cents for them or if they were free. Heck, the store might have paid her to take them. That girl can work wonders with coupons!)
I tore into the bag, and quickly devoured some of them. The salty/sweet combo is amazing!! I also poured myself a glass of milk, which I sucked down like it was going out of style.
Moo juice = yum!
In the end, I ate two handfuls of the M&Ms and drank 3 glasses of milk. (Jackie keeps saying that we should just buy a cow.) While I know that my body can use the milk to help build muscle, I know that the M&Ms aren't going to help me get to my weight goal.
Now I'm watching The Biggest Loser, and I can't help but asking myself WWJD: What Would Jillian Do? First of all, I think she would yell at me. Bob would also be pretty disappointed.
Unhappy trainers
I know it was a bad lapse of judgment, and I will need to do better. Tomorrow, I plan to work harder to make up for this.
In other news, I did manage to lose a pound over the past week...in spite of my birthday celebrations, which included a lot of cake!
After extensive training (OK, it was really just a couple of weeks), today was the day that we'd been waiting for: the 3rd Annual Rumpshaker 5K!!! Our obsession with the Rumpshaker began when Jackie told me about it a couple of months ago.
"Do you want to do the Rumpshaker?" she asked.
"With a name like that? Of course!" I said. "I want a t-shirt that says 'Rumpshaker'!"
We really buckled down with training when we joined Snap fitness earlier this month. Earlier this week, we both did a practice 5K on the treadmill to get an idea of how long it would take us to finish. I clocked in at 45 minutes, and Jackie finished in just over an hour.
I was totally prepared for it to take us longer to run the real race. The practice 5K was, I thought, our "best case scenario" for getting an estimate about our time. It was inside... in air conditioning... with plenty of water.
This morning when our alarms went off at 5:30, Jackie and I looked at each other, and we both said, "This is the dumbest thing we've ever done." Who in their right mind gets up at the butt-crack of dawn on a Saturday...to go running??? Well, it turns out that there were a lot of us that do it!
We met up with Jackie's parents and brother and headed to Sloss. Traffic was pretty backed up when we got close to the race site. Jackie and Diana set out on one last potty break before the race, while Jeff, Matt, and I waited to park the truck.
Once we were finally parked, we set out to find the girls...only to realize that we had no clue where they were. We searched and waited, but all we saw were a sea of people (most of which were wearing Rumpshaker t-shirts, just like us). As we were looking, they announced that it was about time to start the race. The three of us decided that, since Jackie and Diana would have to go to the starting line, we should go there to find them. Amazingly, out of the thousands of people there to shake their rumps, we found them on the way to the start line. We also caught up with Jackie's aunt and cousin, Patti and Samantha.
Before we started shakin' our rumps!
At the starting line, there was some guy from a local gym their to lead us in a warm up. Then they announced that the race would be delayed a bit because of last minute traffic issues (and a train was blocking part of the course).
Finally the horn blew, and we were off!! Jeff and Matt were in front of me. I quickly got separated from them in the crowd, but could still see them. (Jackie and the others were behind me somewhere. Once we started, I never looked back.) It took all of about 30 seconds for me to realize that my wearing my iPod clipped on my hip was going to drive me crazy, so I decided just to run with it in my hand.
When we reached the first turn in the course, I saw that we had to run across a bridge... and it looked pretty steep. I cranked up my iPod and kept on truckin'. I watched the road as we were crossing the bridge (one, so being up high wouldn't freak me out, and two, because I didn't want to step in a pothole or crack).
OK, it wasn't as steep at this bridge...but it felt like it was!
Back on solid ground, I looked up and saw Jeff ahead of me, but Matt was nowhere to be found. I assumed that he had run on ahead. Eventually, I lost Jeff in the crowd. We kept going... and going... and going...
and going...
I began to think that I'd missed the first mile marker because I knew I'd run at least a mile. I kept looking for the water station, which was set up at 1.5 miles. I was getting a wee bit thirsty. I kept on jogging...
That's when I saw it: the one mile marker. Seriously?! Had it really only been a mile?? It was at this point that I was wondering what I'd gotten myself into.
Finally, I spotted the water station. I eased off of my blistering pace...and by "blistering pace" I mean "slow and steady jog"... and grabbed a cup of water from one of the volunteers. I gulped it down...perhaps a little too quickly.
I was feeling good as we reached the next turn, but I had no idea what my pace was because I'd forgotten to start my timer when I crossed the start line. When I finally reached the second mile marker, the volunteer called out a time of 24 minutes and some seconds. That's when I realized that I was not only doing pretty good... I was actually doing better than I did during the practice 5K!!
I had told myself before the race started that I would take a brief walking break at the 2-mile mark, but I was feeling pumped, so I just kept jogging.
At one point, I could feel myself starting to slow down, and that's when my genius iPod started playing Robert Randolph and the Family Band's "Ain't Nothing Wrong With That"--one of my favorite cardio songs EVER!!! I matched my pace to the music and pressed on!
Rounding the final turn, I was feeling great... and that's when my knee started to bug me. It wasn't hurting bad, but it was like my knee was saying, "Ok, wrap this up. I'm getting a little tired."
Eventually, I could see the finish line...wayoff in the distance. I wanted to break out running as fast as I could, but I knew I needed to hold back a bit longer. Tortoise and the Hare, I kept thinking to myself. Slow and steady wins the race.
I felt like The Flash!
When I hit the 3-mile point, I suddenly got a burst of speed. My iPod also started playing Missy Elliot's "Shake Your Pom Pom" (yet another great cardio song)! It was like the finish line was drawing closer. With just .2 miles to go, I went wide open! I gave it everything I had left.
Nothing felt as satisfying as stomping on the rubber mat at the finish line. Unofficially, my time was 37 minutes and some change, but it will actually be a little better because it was counting from the moment the race started, not when I crossed the starting line.
Matt crossed a few minutes later, and then Sam, Diana, Jackie, and Patti finished! We were a happy (tired) bunch!
Patti and Jackie finish!
After getting some high-quality H2O, we headed to see the main event (at least for us): the inflatable colon!!! Inside the colon, we met a colon cancer survivor, and we saw examples of colon cancer. And of course, we had our pictures taken.
The colon!!!
I touched the polyp.
Having finally visited the colon, we left to go eat. (Gotta replenish our carbs!)
On the way to eat, we all agreed that we had a great time and that we want to do more races together! We're really excited about the Birmingham Zoo 5K Run in May!!! Hope to see you there!
And while none of us won a prized "Golden Toilet," hopefully, we can truly be in the running (no pun intended) for one next year .
