When You Feel Like the Fattest Person at the Gym

We've got just over a week left in our 8-week weight loss challenge, and things have been slowly progressing. Check out this before-and-after picture of my first weigh-in and last Monday's weigh-in.

Don't get me wrong. I know it is a huge accomplishment, and I'm really proud of myself.

But there are still days where I just feel like a big old blob of fat jiggling away while I'm on the elliptical. And to make matters worse, it seems like lately I've been timing my gym visits with all of the super-fit, chiseled, Greek god-like guys. Nothing makes you feel even fatter than being the fattest person at the gym.

It's depressing.

I see them in the mirrors lifting weights behind me, and I'm all like, "Don't mind me. I'm just huffing and puffing away over here, sweating like I'm sunbathing on the surface of the Sun. Nothing to see..."

I came across this meme on Pinterest the other day, and it totally sums up my feelings about this whole subject.

I know how you feel, Jim Gaffigan...

I know it's stupid to feel like this. Their years of hard work in the gym are precisely why they look the way they do. And I hope that one day my time in the gym will make me look good, too.

But it still irks me when I realize I'm the fattest person at the gym... and that motivates me even more to do something to change that.

If I can lose about six or seven more pounds, I'll be back to the weight I was when Jackie and I got married three years ago.

My ultimate goal is to get down to 200-215 pounds. 215 will get me out of the obese category on the BMI chart. I've told myself that I can do it by the end of the year, which should be a realistic goal.

Yep, I am clearly too short...

Thanks again to all of you who have supported and encouraged me on this journey. Your support keeps me going!

[Tangent beginning in 3...2...1...]

For those of you who are wondering how my dissertation is coming along, here's a little update for you: it's going slowly. I got feedback yesterday on the largest chapter I've written. I knew it would need some work, but my chair wants some major reorganization.

At first I freaked out and got really discouraged. Then I took a deep breath, and got to work on revisions based off of his suggestions.

And what do you know? The chapter is improving and will be much better! I feel really good about it! My chair's honest feedback was right on the money, and I'm thankful for it!

And, by the way, I've gotten hooked on Doctor Who this summer, which makes this picture all the more appropriate when thinking about my dissertation.

Finally, I have been able to enjoy some time to clear my mind from my dissertation and teaching work. I finally got to take Jackie to see Star Trek Into Darkness. She really liked it! My plan to convert her into a nerd worked! I love that she likes Star Trek and lets me indulge in my nerdiness. We also saw Despicable Me 2. Now I can't get this minion's sound out of my mind, and now all sirens should sound like this.

So that's about it. The summer class I'm teaching is going well, and we're also getting ready for my brother's wedding, which is a week from today! Needless to say, I'm as busy as ever--and thankfully, I'm lugging around a lot less weight while we're doing all of this stuff!

Fighting Fatness...It's a "Disease," You Know.

Hi there, readers! Thanks for sticking around through the Great Blog Drought of 2013.

So as many of you may have heard, the AMA has classified obesity as a disease. While I'm not sure I completely agree with that, I do realize that there is certainly a genetic factor at play. (The Finkleas aren't known for being a skinny bunch...) I don't want to make an excuse for my weight by saying it is a disease...and, yes, I am obese. That's a hard word to write...to acknowledge...to accept. But just because I do not like the word does not make it any less true.

I. Am. Obese.

Is my weight the result of a disease? Yes, now please pass the Oreos. No. I am obese because of choices I made.

Should I have a 3rd helping of mac and cheese? Does a bear poop in the woods?
Do you want another piece of pie? You betcha!
Salad? Nah, I'm saving extra room for dessert!
I ate so much that I think I'm gonna pop! Oh, did you say you've got banana pudding? Why, yes, I've got room.

I think you're beginning to see my thought process. I have a love affair with food. I'm an emotional eater. I'm a hungry eater. I'm a I-don't-have-anything-else-to-do eater. I eat if I crave something crunchy. I eat if I crave something sweet. I love to eat.

And I packed on every fatty, jiggling, disgusting pound by eating some of the most delicious, decadent foods on the planet. I believe it was Kate Moss who said, "Nothing tastes as good as skinny feels." I really want to slap her across her sunken cheek and ask, "Have you ever had my mom's mac and cheese? I think you'd change your mind."

At my skinniest: 180 lbs. in 2004 or 2005

So here I sit, writing this blog to you, spilling my guts about my...well, gut. As many of you know, I was the fat kid in school. Then when I started college, I finally realized that I needed to make a change. During my freshman year at the University of Montevallo, I dropped 55 pounds while my classmates put on the "Freshman 15." It was the best I've ever felt in my whole entire life. I loved my body.

Unfortunately, my losses didn't last forever. I slowly put back on every single one of those 55 pounds...and a few extra. Then I got married and put on another 30.

I was in my mid-20s. I loved my life. I loved my wife. But I hated myself. I didn't recognize the fatty in the mirror. My shirt size went from being able to wear some mediums, to larges, to extra larges, to 2XL. My waist size jumped more than 10 inches. I trapped myself inside my own body...and I felt like I would never escape.

I prayed that God would miraculously make me skinny. (As Christians, we are supposed to treat our body like a temple of God. I apparently built a temple for Buddha...but at least no body tried to rub my belly.) I'd diet really good for a week...only to reward my efforts by pigging out. I'd think about going back to the gym. (Turns out it isn't "the thought that counts.") I was still fat...and getting fatter.

We tried Weight Watchers. We tried the 6 Week Body Makeover. We tried "Let's just control our portions." We tried Zumba. Nothing worked... at least, not for long.

And then about 5 weeks ago, we were talking with Jackie's cousin Beth (check out her ah-mazing blog, Unskinny Boppy!) and Uncle Jon about starting an 8-week weight loss challenge. (We chose 8 weeks because there were 8 weeks until my brother's wedding.) To motivate ourselves, we said, "Let's all chip in and give the winner a cash prize!" We added more family members and friends, and the winner's pot grew to quite a chunk of change.

Turns out that the motivation that I'd been lacking all these years was a big ol' stack of cash. I started eating better (back on Weight Watchers), lifting weights, and doing cardio like it's going out of style.

After a 50 minute cardio workout. 7.57 miles & 663 calories!!!

And the weight started coming off.

So far, I'm down 18 pounds. I'm back down to an XL shirt, and I've had to tighten my belt a notch. I've also lost 15 inches from all over my body.

Who knew that my competitiveness would jump start my weight loss?

I am on the road to recovery. Each pound that melts away makes me a little more free. I'm rebuilding my temple from the image of Buddha to the image of Christ. (Philippians 4:13 "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me" has become my mantra when I want to give up at the gym...which, let's be honest, is often.)

It has not been easy. Muscles have ached that haven't ached in years. There are days I don't think I can get out of bed because my body refuses to move. There are days that I want to simply give up.

But I push through the soreness, roll out of bed, and I refuse to give up!

Workout Before & After. And, yeah, my shirt says "Flossin' ain't just for gangstas"...which is true. Gotta keep that grill lookin' so fresh and so clean-clean.

I've been posting a lot of pictures on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to keep folks updated on my progress. Every like or comment fuels my desire to get this weight off! My friend Ryan tells me and Jackie that we motivate him to run...which, in turn, motivates me to run. It's a good cycle to be in.

Folks that haven't seen me in several weeks have noticed a difference. (But I've also gotten a little sun this summer, so part of the change may be that I look a little more tan and not so much like a pale ghost...)

I like this transforming version of me. He's not only skinnier...he's happier. He will live a richer, more satisfying life. (He'll also live a life where he doesn't get winded walking up a flight of stairs or bending over to tie his shoes...both of which used to be sadly true.)

I can do this. I will get this weight off. I will (hopefully) win our weight loss challenge.

But it's not all about the money.

I want to transform my life...forever.

Yeah, the AMA may say obesity is a disease, but I think it is mostly a choice. It's a choice every time you open the fridge, go through the drive-thru, and sit down at the dinner table. People don't choose to get cancer, or MS, or lupus. Those are diseases. My obesity is not a disease. It is the result of my choices...which, up until a few weeks ago, were delicious sucked.

Thank you to all of my friends and family for your support on this journey. Your words of encouragement mean the world to me, and I couldn't do it without you.

And I have to give a special shout out to my wife. Jackie, you keep me focused and driven, and I am so thankful to have you not only as my wife, but my best friend and partner in life. We are doing this together, and I think that's why we're being successful. I am so proud of your successes, too!

Well, that's it for now. Gotta go to bed so that I can head to the gym in the morning!

Stay healthy, friends!

The Summer of My Dis...sertation

So, now that school is out for summer, I am officially back to working on my dissertation full-time. It was slow going during the semester because it's hard to teach four courses (plus extracurricular projects), grade, and prep for the next day's classes.

In a nutshell, I was like this:

Thankfully, now I have a little time.

Meanwhile, my coworkers (especially Dr. Cofield) are like this:

I'm glad they don't dress up like the Cookie Monster...or hold me at gunpoint!

And this whole time, I've been thinking this:

I'm looking forward to getting back to work on my dissertation, and I really can't wait until I'm Dr. Bruce Finklea!

We're Shakin' Our Rumps...Again.

First of all, you can get your mind out of the gutter.

Jackie has signed us up to run the Rumpshaker 5K this year. (You may remember when we ran it a couple of years go.)

The race is on March 30, so we've got some time to get ready. But we haven't started our training yet. The hardest part is finding the motivation to go to the gym. Last time we ran the Rumpshaker, we went to the gym for a month solid before the race to train.

Every other day or so, one of us will look over at the other and say, "When are we going to start training for the marathon?" (We call it a marathon because sometimes thinking about it makes it seem like a marathon. Apologies to all you marathon runners out there...)

The problem with training is that I've had a total lack of motivation to hit the gym. The race is 3 days after my 28th birthday, and I'd really like to be in better shape by then. I mean, I know I can't lose a ton of weight between now and then, but I like to lose something and be stronger. I keep looking at old pictures for motivation to remind me of how skinny I used to be. They remind me of how I've transformed my body before. If I've done it once, I know that I can do it again.

But why can't I get motivated this time??? I feel like if I can figure that out, I'd be unstoppable. In the meantime, I hope our looming race day will begin to get me to drag my butt to the gym in my free time (you know, the few seconds I have between class, prepping for class, dissertation work...).

Welcome to Book Heaven

Welcome to Book Heaven

I love books. I've been an avid reader since I was little because my parents instilled a love for the written word in me at a young age. Being a book lover, I also love places where there are a lot of books... and that is one of the reasons that I love going to 2nd & Charles in Hoover.

It is like pre-read book Heaven! (I think "pre-read" sounds better than "used book.") There are rows and rows and rows of shelves packed with books. It's hit or miss what you'll find, but sometimes you might just stumble across a diamond in the rough.

This was the Star Trek section on my 1st 2nd&C visit. Nerd Nirvana!

I love their Star Trek section because, lets face it, if I can combine my love of books with my love of Star Trek, I'm going to think it's awesome!! The section used to be ginormous, but they've shrunk it down recently. (I'm hoping those books found good homes, and that they didn't just purge the non-sellers!) There are a bunch of older books that aren't available in e-format and that you just can't find at the bookstore.

And the best part is the price. Most of them are under $3! I could buy them all...but Jackie would kill me I don't have enough bookshelves.

Here's one of the Animorphs books.

So where do they get all of these books? You can sell them your pre-read books! (You can also cash in on old electronics, video games, records, and movies.) I found a box of old books that I had in middle school, so I took them up there Friday. The books were the Animorph series. (It was about a bunch of teenagers that get the ability to morph into any animal that they touch... and they fought aliens.) I had more than 40 of the books!

When you take your items in to sell, they give you a number and you have to wait while they evaluate what you brought in. Then, when your number pops up on the screen, they'll tell you how much they'll give you and if there were any books that they wouldn't take. The girl at the counter said they could give me $16 and some change if I wanted the cash, but if I wanted store credit, I'd get almost $29! Hello, store credit!

I'm sure you're asking yourself how Jackie and I spent our windfall. Well, I picked a Star Trek book (just 1) and 2 Hallmark Christmas ornaments that were on clearance for $1 (they are never that cheap--NEVER! My Hallmark Christmas ornament obsession is worthy of its own blog post. Maybe next Christmas, since I've already packed them away this year.) Jackie wanted to get some Golden Books. Even though we don't have kids (or any on the way), we want to go ahead and start building a library for any Future Finkleas that may come along. We picked out a ton of Golden Books that were in great condition. (Some had never been opened; you could tell because the spines were so stiff.) Jackie keeps a list of our growing library in her phone so we don't buy the same book twice.

Even with all of our books and my 2 ornaments, we only spent $24. (That means I've still got a little store credit left so I can buy more Star Trek books to buy Golden Books with.)

On our way back to the car, we stopped by the free bins outside. (Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that there are free books in bins on the sidewalk outside! Free, I tell you! Free!) We dropped in a few random books that we had that we tried to sell with my impressive Animorphs collection, and we poked around to see if there were any good books that the book vultures (I've had people wait and watch me unload books from my car; they were old text books from our department) hadn't picked over already. And there, in all of its current-news-cycle relevancy, was a sad, sad book looking up at me:

Sorry, Lance.

Ever since my co-authored text book went on sale last year, I've wondered what it must be like for an author to see their book in the bargain bin at Walmart...but to be in the free bin on the sidewalk outside of a pre-read book store--that was a low I never imagined.

So, dear readers, if you're ever at the 2nd and Charles in Hoover and you see a copy of Fundamentals of Media Effects (2nd edition) in the free book bin, please pick it up and take it home. Spare me the pain of seeing it myself. (Of course, if you do find a copy, be sure to read the last four chapters. They're the ones I wrote all by myself. You'll love them!) If you would like to own your own copy of our book (and you can't find one in the free bin) you can purchase it online: click here! As of this writing, Amazon says it has 3 left in stock--and you can get it gift wrapped! ;)

What great books have you read lately, readers? Hit the comments to let me know!

Illumination Transformations with the Unhandy Husband

Ever since Jackie and I moved into our new house last March, the Unhandy Husband has been able to relax.

Although we've loved our house from the moment we stepped inside, we were not in love with the lighting over our bar and over the dining room. We jokingly referred to them as "Pizza Hut lights."

The Pizza Hut light in all its glory.

One of the baby Pizza Hut pendants

They were awful...and entirely not our taste. So we set out to change them.

Several months ago, Jackie declared, "We're going to Lowe's." We went and finally found some pendant shades that we liked. It was an easy swap out for the Unhandy Husband to undertake.

New pendant shades

You can sort of see the detail on the shade in this picture

Much better than the Pizza Hut lights!

We were really happy with the new pendants. The baby Pizza Hut lights were banished to storage in the garage.

Apparently, the Unhandy Husband went back into hiding after the mini-Pizza Hut swap out because the big light didn't get changed for a while longer. It wasn't until Jackie and I were hosting a Christmas movie marathon for our friends that we agreed it was time for the big light to finally hit the road.

We had taken the light that we'd installed in the trailer with us when we left, and it had been sitting in a laundry basket on top of our spare fridge in the garage since we moved in. Buoyed by my success of illumination transformations in the trailer and the mini-Pizza Hut light swap out, I told her it would take 10 minutes to do.

This is where the Unhandy Husband jinxed himself.

We wanted to use the ceiling mount part (I don't know the real name for this part) so that it would match the pendants. However, that ended up causing us to have to cobble together bits and pieces of both the old and new lights to make it possible to hang the new light. I kinda felt like Dr. Frankenstein mixing and matching parts.

However, about an hour later, we got everything wired up and working.

Here's the new light. So much better!

That part up by the ceiling is what turned a 10 minute job into an hour of frustration. But it looks great!

And we love it! I wish we'd done it months ago!

We Wish You A Merry Christmas!

I can't believe that it is already Christmas Eve! This month has flown by!

Christmas has always been one of my favorite holidays, and I'll admit, I love Christmas decorations! (I'm pretty sure I get that from my paternal grandmother. Gran Gran loved decorating for the holidays!)

Anyway, this is our first Christmas in our new house, and Jackie has done such a wonderful job decorating. I thought I'd take a little time to show off her hard work.

Let's start in the yard...

We both love Christmas Vacation, and we certainly tried to channel our inner Griswold when we decorated the house. Unlike Clark Griswold, I have a paralyzing fear of heights. That meant I would only go so far up the ladder, but I still think it turned our great.

To make the little Christmas trees, we borrowed some tomato cages from my Mom. We wrapped 2 strands of lights on each, and staked them into the ground.

We also overestimated how many lights we'd need, so Jackie said, "Let's decorate the ground!"

I was skeptical at first, but I think it turned out great! We are one of the brightest houses in our neighborhood!

We're already coming up with decorating plans for next year, and my friend Keith has said he'll help do the roof. Christmas 2013 will blow your mind!

Moving to the front door, you'll see our snowman face that I saw at Homestead Hollow's October show. I fell in love with it, and was able to convince Jackie that I had to have it for our house. Luckily, she agreed! I also love that the woman at the booth understands the proper use of the apostrophe and knew not to include it.

This is our entryway table. We've collected these decorations at a bunch of different places, and we love it! The Nativity is the most recent addition. We scored it at Hobby Lobby the other day, and it was 50% off! (Of course, most of the store is 50% off at any point in time...not that I'm complaining!)

To display our Christmas cards, Jackie made this Pinterest-inspired card tree out of yard sticks and miniature clothespins. I love it! The only problem is that we underestimated how many cards we'd receive...

So the newest ones are now taped to the bar.

I'm really loving our hearth. Jackie did a fantastic job! We had the Grinch window painted by one of our craft show neighbors. The vine tree and balls were made by our crafting friends Cliff and Elizabeth. The wooden deer was also a Homestead Hollow find. The big Santa hat was a recent find at Hobby Lobby. I loved it at first sight. I'm so glad Jackie let me get it!

Here's a view of our tree, Grinch, and leg lamp! Love it!

 Jackie surprised me with the leg lamp a couple of weeks ago. Watching A Christmas Story has been a Finklea family tradition for years. And who can resist the soft glow of electric sex in the window?

 Our Grinch was made by our craft show friends Bobby and Wanda. Mom had one for several years, and after Jackie and I got married, I wanted to get one of my own. Everyone that has come to the house love it!

 Next up is the tree. I have a thing for Christmas tree ornaments, and many of ours are Hallmark's Star Trek ornaments, but there's also a bunch of Christmas Vacation and A Christmas Story ones. There's also a ton of other pop culture ornaments. I absolutely love our tree!

 Here are some of the new additions this year. First up is the house from A Christmas Story. It lights up and talks!

 We got this ornament to ornament when we were in New York back in March. I love this little reminder of a wonderful trip!

 We got this one to commemorate our first Christmas in our new house. This ornament is a reminder of God's faithfulness. The second year of our marriage was very difficult, but the Lord had a plan for us. He blessed us with a beautiful home that has been a wonderful place for us to gather with our loved ones.

Jackie and I also made some Christmas cookies. These are just a few of all of the ones we made. Lesson learned: don't quit my day job to become a cookie decorator.

Jackie and I hope you have a very Merry Christmas to celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior! Surround yourself with loved ones, lots of laughter, and good food.

Merry Christmas from the Finkleas!